The Hopelessness Comes To Hurt Me

How much pain must I suffer?
How much blood shall I shed?
And the fading world speaks to me, yet again
I don't wanna go through another tomorrow
Why do I drag on?
Shouldn't I let this hurt forsaken part go?
Damn all this shit
I don't care
I don't want anything anymore
I just want to see something real
Something true
Give me another hit
But I don't see you
I want to know something
Something so pure
That I would die to know where it came from
I want something real
Real to hold onto
No more fake shit
Not one more hit
I don't want anything from anyone
I hope you understand
But it's hopeless
You'll never understand

My Drug And Antidote

Damn This!
All this rage
The bite the kiss
No freedom from this cage
I'm stuck here
Everyone else to blame
The friendly family queer
I burn myself with this flame
I don't understand
"It's all the same," he said
Is he my helping hand?
Can he tell I have bleed?
I don't have a single fear
Though he says, "Let us have another beer."
I feel them sting, my eyes bleed tears
My helping hand, the family queer
But once again
The pain returns
I have no friends
The flames, they burn!
But I don't care
I hear a voice cry out
"Stick it there!"
In my arm without a doubt
It burns, I can tell
It passed my skin
Created a hell
I smile, no, grin
The rage multiplies
But, oh, it's gone
I can't realize
Let's sing a song!
The pleasure it brings
Oh so sweet
My eyes don't sting
The feeling so neat
My tale so dumb
It's now through
My body is numb
It chews
My brain, it's gum
My story is done
I apologize for my behavior
Give me the gun
I'll do you a favor

My Secrets

It's all those same thoughts
I can't free them
This is what the pain brought
They're no precious jem
I want to die
I'm not pretending
I need to die
They are the same thing
Give me more of your fucking shit
It doesn't matter
I want to commit
I want to tell you what I think
But you don't listen
And once again those thoughts sink
The liquid sings and glistens
I don't want your fake help
I want to be free
I don't care if I go to hell
I want you to know the real me
Now it's your turn to tell
Tell the secrets you hold
I'm falling apart
But you're not bold
Now I'm keeping my secrets to my heart

Torn Book, My Life

A lonely book unread
The pages are all torn
You just watch as I bled
The loneliness out grown
Do you understand?
It's beneath the land
Just let it go
This aligence as we all know

I'm a forsaken soul
Don't you see?
This is all I know
Leave me here to be
I've cried for many things
And yet they don't do any good
Those long, hard feelings
Those were my food

Watch You Die

My body is numb
My eyes sting
My voice is dumb
I cannot scream
I watch you die
I wish to save
I start to cry
I wish to be brave
Death is coming here
And yet I watch
It is so near
A dark red bloch
I can't tell
My vision blurs
I feel I fell
Fell down to hell
The murmers
They whisper, oh so softly
I wish to scream
Make them leave!
But, then again, this isn't my dream
Leave me alone
No more hellos
No more good-byes
I want to be alone
My friend just died

Broken Hope

Why must you hate?
Is it because I'm too late?
Late to save you, my friend?
Have I reached the end
Was this fate?
I mean, your sudden hate
You don't really care
Do I dare?
Dare ask the question of this land
Dare even give you a helping hand
Help me find what you need
Help me listen
Make me heed
I blame myself for all this pain
While you help me hold the blade
You now whisper the horrid lie
Then you help me kill and die
But you're not the one to blame
I was mistaken
I held the flame
Now forsaken
Next to find
Where the truth is in this mind

Mind Pain

I feel my life slip away
But I beg you all
Let me stay
Don't let me fall
But you just watch it
Like your favorite show
It's a bunch of bull shit
I'm not stupid, I know
You pretend to care
Your smile spreads
I can't feel the air
No needles or thread
I fall apart
I can't listen or heed
My shallow heart
It bleeds
I cry and cry
Your smile is still there
I must die
This is more than I can bear
Let me commit
Let me die
Give me another hit
Beat me senseless
Give me this shit
I'll find it to bless
I cry
I'll die
My suicide

It's All In My Head

This year is one I hate
I want to cry out
I want to erase
I don't want this doubt
The doubt that won't let people in
I just want to see
I don't want to sin
You've never noticed, I'm just me
But now I tell you
I hate me
This whole thing is completely true
Once again, I don't hate you
I never have, and never could
So why do you still think I do?
It blocks all my harmless thoughts
I don't know what to tell you
You won't take what I brought
Is it that you hate me?
Is that why I'm so hurt?
Is it because I don't want to see?
I just want to burst
I don't want to fall anymore
I just hurts to stand
I don't want to fall like before
I need a helping hand
But you came too late
I'm sorry for what is here
I don't know if it's I whom hate
I don't hold it near
I see something passed all the dirty looks
But it was never what I hoped for
I'm not a burned and tortured book
I can't hold on to this anymore

This Is My Oath

I swear
On this drop of blood
I swear
I will never love
I swear
I will look above
I swear
I'll try to see the light
I swear
I will not fight
I swear
I will try
I swear
I will not cry
I swear
I'll be right here
I swear
I will go cheer
I swear
With all my heart
I swear
We will never be apart
I swear
On my few last words
I swear
I won't be alone