All The Fucking Same

All of it has been spent
But you're living off the time
Being happy isn't what you meant
You're just wasting mine
Yet you move on
I'm not yet gone
But everything's not what it seems
With all the ways and those magic beams
I don't see what you do
I do not know where you want to go
And what's the best thing of all is that I don't care
It's all just like the air
It's all the fucking same shit
I don't wanna believe in it
Leave me alone, like you did once before
I don't care
Do it once more
I want to live life till it's time to go
Leave me alone
I don't give a shit
So do what you did
Give me another five hits
I want to let go
So guess what
I want you to let me go
Be free
Like I've known for a long time
You don't give a shit about me
I see, I'm not blind
I don't care about you, or your fucking lie
It's all the fucking same
So now I can go and die
See what I mean?
You're not even listening
I don't give a shit anymore
It's all the fucking same
Just like before

Life

Sanity isn’t real
Why do they say?
It’s not a way you feel
Why do you stay?
A voice speaks softly
Like a lullaby
I try to stay in safety
But I know its time
I grow further away
Don’t they see?
I don’t need to stay
Why do I bleed
The melody plays once more
I have five more minutes
I know its now time
My last will
My goodbye

My Soul

It’s all the same
You pretend to care
I’m becoming sane
Why am I there?
I don’t understand
I don’t belong
It’s like I’m broken
A dying doll

Say Good-Bye

Say one more word
Once again not ever a sound
Why do I stay mad at the world?
Bury me more than six feet under ground
I'm not mad anymore
I don't even feel sad or alone
I don't need the help I deserve
Why do I go on?
There was once a glimmer of hope
I wrote my feelings in a note
The note was never read
My feelings burned instead
But now the fire no longer burns
The ashes remain
I don't mind being alone
I don't care that there's no one there
I hope one day I'll be forgiven
The lies I've told
The pain I've given
Every moment I think
I don't make my heart disappear or sink
I just want to say one more thing
I forgive you for everything

I Turned To You

As everything fell apart
I turned to you-- a lie
As I dropped my life
I broke the glass heart
I turned to you-- a lie
Nothing mattered anymore
Just a lie, nothing more
Ever seeing, ever here
Let me go, I'll still hear
Darkness falls
Evil lives
Lies become
Lives disappear
I'll tell you-- everything
Nothing's here
Disappear
Forever watching
But never acting
Ever seeing
Never lasting

Shadow Curse

No one looks my way
I’m alone sitting in the darkness
Looking for something new
The choices are few
All of them led to being like the others
I don’t need to be them to join them
Do I?
This horrid curse!
It won’t let me go
It’s a shadow that follows me
A bad luck curse
Now I’m becoming something I don’t wanna become
I don’t want to be a shadow
I gave the most I could
I didn’t expect anything in return
Where the things I gave bad?
Evil things, like this curse
Is that why I’m like this?
Have I cursed myself for the rest of my days?
Now I see
This all started because of me
Does that mean that if I disappear these evil deeds will too?
No, I don’t think so
Was that hope I saw glimmer in the shadow?
No, it couldn’t be
There’s no way that I’d see something like that
I don’t understand anything
Why would something like that happen?
I don’t understand, is that why?
Why do I have this shadow curse?
Will I see the answer to that too?

Cold Isolation

Reality sets in
I remember everything that happened
Every five minutes become more and more distant
I’m trying to get away from the loneliness
But is running away the right answer?
I don’t know, but I can’t help it anymore
I wanna stay
The question is for what I must stay for
A regret flows through my blood
The cold isolation gets me again
I don’t know why I’m still here
No one can help me find the answer
Doesn’t anyone understand?
Every time I die brings me closer to the beginning
I don’t understand this road I took so long ago
Do you even know who I am?
Well, guess what, I don’t know you
I’m intoxicated by my pain
This plain so misunderstood so numb now
I don’t see my shadow as a follower
But as the leader to the end of me
I stare at the blank walls that hold all the answers
Why do I say these things?
Why do I look for something that’s not here?
I want to see something
I need to survive, but why?
I don’t need this pain
I can let it all go
But I’m waiting for something
Help me leave

What Do I Need?

I don’t know who I really am
Do you expect me to know what I need?
Well I don’t
What I need is help
No, not that
I don’t want to burden anyone
These are my problems
But where are they coming from?
I don’t blame you
I don’t blame him, or her
I don’t blame those people
Even those whom hurt me before
Where are these problems coming from?
Oh, I remember
They all start with me
But even if they start with me
Where do they end?
No, I don’t want you to get caught up in this
You have all your problems, and more
Then why did I tell you that bit?
I don’t know what I need
Did I expect you to answer that question?
No, please don’t
If you do I’ll never forgive myself
You don’t know what I need
I’ve already gone insane
Please do as the others do

When It All Comes To This

Crying, all that pain
Tell me that you’re still strong
Tell me you really care
No, don’t lie
You’re lying!
Why are you lying?
What have I done?
Help me!
I’m trapped here
I can’t move from this fucking spot!
Why are you lying?
You said you want to help
You lied
Why do I keep believing those lies?
Those horrid lies
Leave me here!
Let me bleed!
It’s all come down to this
But I think I’m still waiting for something
Why am I where I don’t belong?
Just tell me good-bye
At least do that one thing
Don’t turn away
At least not just yet
Please tell me why you lied
Tell me everything you’ve always wanted to
Do this favor for me
Since, it has all come to this

Let Me Breathe

I can't think of the last time
No more pain!
I beg for no more pain
Leave me here like a stain
I don't deserve your kindness
I don’t care anymore
So why do I stay?
Do I sense that I’ll be needed?
No, that’s not it
So why can’t I breathe?
My breath caught at my throat
Maybe I should slit it so the air can be freed
Along with the pain
I don’t understand anymore
I promised I wouldn’t
But I can’t turn back the hands of time
Time and destiny
Why do I stay?
I don’t understand
My breath caught in my throat
Please cut it free
I need help
That’s what you’re thinking
I know it
Your amusement is going to be the end of me
Please let me breathe
Those tears make me drown
Why do I care?
Let me breathe, I beg you
Please let me free to breathe
Free of this infinite pain
Let me breathe
You’re letting me drown?
Why? What evil have I done?
Please, let me breathe!

It's All Happening

Why the hell am I crying?
There's no real reason for me to be
I don't understand
These salty tears just pour
I do bad things some times
And want everything to turn out right
I don't deserve to cry
Even if he crashes back into my life
I need to escape
Or at least repent
I'm sorry for all the bad things I've done
I don't deserve to be happy
I know this much is true
Why do I want something good?
Why do I want you?
This I don't understand
I'm sorry I don't comprehend
But I just want the pain to stop
I want this ride to end